I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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