i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Randomize
