the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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