Your tits are I can't wait for
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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