I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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