there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
