return my video game
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
