i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
