i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
