just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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