i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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