# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
