You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize