just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
