Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize