Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Randomize
