I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
