Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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