Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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