she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize