kristin has been a bad kristin
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
