Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
