Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
