Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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