Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
