I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Randomize
