the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
