Where did you get a picture of my penis
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
