I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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