I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
