is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
