I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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