we're blogging at a bar
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
