I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize