Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
