Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
