my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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