Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
