So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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