I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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