I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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