Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Randomize
