have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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