butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
