is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
