did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
