I must be too annoying 4 u.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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