Is it normal to miss your booty call?
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Randomize