spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
