i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
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