Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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