Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
