We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
