after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
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