i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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