hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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