What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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