Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
