Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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