I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I have tasted many bathrooms
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
